An update - Finally!

Hello All (from Jim this time),
So it's August 25, Tuesday, and we haven't made an update for over a week. Suffice to say, free wireless access hasn't been as prevalent at campgrounds as we were led to believe. I'll recap our travels a bit so far.

We left Keith & Missy's and Kathy decided that we should head south. (Germany & Austria, rather than France) Alsace, a wine growing area of eastern France looked to be pretty much on the way so we thought we would weave over the border for a night. Unfortunately, Gretta our GPS - for some reason Kathy always names electrical appliances - I don't know why - took us by a really lousy route through some mountains and it took twice as long to get there as it subsequently took to get back. The countryside was very beautiful with vineyards everywhere and pretty little villages. We saw no other Americans there.

The campground was okay, except for the centipede population which seemed to be concentrated in the shower rooms. European campgrounds are not like the U.S. where you're likely to enjoy real solitude and at least the illusion of nature. Over here, campers are about ten feet apart. Picture our house as the lodge with literally 250 campers occupying our land. It's a bit weird but we've gotten used to it. I figure the claustrophia is offset by the slight but real chance that I'll at some time inadvertently see through the tent flap the very fit looking 20-something german hottie in the bikini two places down (that's 20 feet) changing into a dry suit.

We stayed there for two nights and saw a quaint little wine town called Riquewihr in between. The kids were lukewarm on the beautiful timberwork houses and cobblestone street but were impressed by a well on a side street.

At one point it was really really hot and we decided that the kids needed to blow off some steam rather than just look at stuff so we found an indoor pool at a nearby town. All was well once we got the campervan parked but once we checked in, got out locker, etc. we were stopped before we could actually enter the pool. Apparently the French aren't keen on their very sizeable muslim population (shocker!) and are trying to regulate out burkas, headscarves etc. You might wonder "how is this relevant to your already dull vacation story?" Well I'll tell you.

The bottom line is, our normal size American swim trunks are too large... Anything that isn't Jacque Cousteau banana hammock sized seems to fall into wierdo muslim burka swimsuit territory and is banned. And I'm not kidding.

Our choice was therefore to not swim or buy and wear speedos. Now before anyone's heart goes aflutter, I did not go the monokini route but enjoyed the scenery in the sun bathing area outside, proudly flying the flag - a big baggy frickin' set of trunks that hang nearly down to my knees like God himself intended for men to wear. The French... The boys did looke really cute in their 13 Euro speedos but Connor made us promise that there would be no photographic evidence. He was really pissed but the allure of the pool was too strong. Good boy. All in all it was a fun diversion.

Anyway, Kathy drank a little wine which is very out of character for her, we lost none of the kids, we made no friends amongh the french people at the campground, and didn't dent our camper. So we were golden. Not wanting to push our luck we headback for Germany. (actually Germany, than Switzerland, than Austria, then Germany again) Damn I like parantheses - I think I'll use a few more. ((()))(()()()()))))))))) Yeah, that feels good...

Anyway again, we had a little navigation misunderstanding as we headed to a German town called Garmisch. Kathy thought Garmisch was before Lake Constance, a.k.a. the Bodensee or Lake Constanz or Lake Konstanz but it's actually east. We therefore tried to roam around lake Konstanz looking for a campground - which moderately sucked. Lots of europeans on vacation there driving RVs like retards. Just like us. Nothing more fun than skinny windy roads full of traffic and oblivious pedestrians while trying to drive an RV with a manual transmission with three boys fighting in the back and a wife who's annoyed when you ask where the hell we're supposed to be going! That's what I always say! In fact, you've probably heard me say that many times... The lake is pretty large and very beautiful which is why so many people are drawn there at peak season.

Eventually we said screw the built up area, headed up the hill out of town, and found a campground with everything! Pool, playground, restaurant, store, and a beer garden for dad. It was very good.